Сон сломанного радиоприемника на английском

15.02.2015 Книги  Нет комментариев

radio

Прислали перевод на английский язык моего старого, но вечно актуального рассказа «Сон сломанного радиоприемника«. Приятно. Рассказ написан летом 2004 года, мне что-то снилось, я встал и буквально за пару часов написал этот маленький рассказ.

 

The Dream Of A Broken Radio Receiver

I’m a radio receiver. I was created by the «Peace» company, I’m a model named «4P-100″. I was named simply, a «Radio», but that was time ago when I served my tasks properly. Later, I’ve got another name… Once, I’ve heard: «Get off this damn old thing!» — and understood, the «damn old thing» was me. But by now, I like more if I’m called simply, a «Radio».

When they brought me from the shop, I was delighted by attention. They were happy to touch and shout me out. Everyone was trying to be the first to push by buttons, try the rotating wheels, and press the levers. There was a lot inside of me, but they still were trying to let me talk the only things they like. Then I’ve got the sense of being different; just shifting me a bit made me such to appear. I was able to sing the wonderful songs, play rock-n-roll, lay out the midnight tales and even erotic stories, hold on to the news, stay rude, push ads and cheat… It seemed I was having a never-ending cycle of abilities!

I was a birth-day gift. At the beginning, my little owner touched my knobs in all sides, trying to understand, what I could speak to her. But later, she found just a few of stations and began to listen to them only. I wasn’t against it — ’cause I’m a Radio. I even started to like, that I will be turned on at the same time each day.

My owner got back from the school at the evening time, and turned on the music programme, the same everytime. And soon, I even liked to play the same music each day.

It was not my question, where I’m getting my inside from, why I’m playing or speaking this or that. It was not my question of WHO AM I? I was having a technical passport, where it was signed I’m a Radio Receiver created by the «Peace» company, and my model is «4P-100″. It was enough for me. I was also having a distinct serial number assigned for me — that was the most astonishing creation I was truly proud of.

And then suddenly, I broke.

At some evening, my owner got back to home and began to locate one of her favorite stations. I’ve caught it, the music came out of me; but suddenly, the speaker produced the only noise. «Oh Mummy!», she exclaimed, «It’s broken!» Right then I’ve heard some irriated voice, «Get off this damn old thing!». But they did not get off from me… I’ve heard another voice, «What do you mean — to get off?! It could be useful. I’ll leave it for spares…» And they left me in the lumber-room.

Since then, I’m here. Here’s also a lot of strange things, which the irritated voice from my past life is calling a «trash». Possibly, I’m a «trash», too. Am I?.. I have a technical passport, and it clearly states: I am the «Peace 4P-100 #555320″! I’m not trash… But then, WHO AM I, really?..

Sometimes, for me it was enough to have a passport name and number, but feeling myself so cuddy, staying cold for such long time, when I’m not turned on, and touched, and pushed up and down, and shifted… Since then, I’m starting to give this question to myself.

I’ve had lots of experience in my life — ’cause I’ve received thousands of programmes! One of them was about the internal structure of radio receivers. I was getting the signal very carefully, and I knew that a receiver is a difficult device, and that I’m consisting of hundreds of various details: transistors, diodes, and various ICs. I have a motherboard, which holds all other parts; I have an antenna, and a speaker. Well, receiver is an extraordinarily complex device! But I AM NOT just a transistor, and not just a speaker, not just an antenna and not just a motherboard — then WHO AM I?

Suddenly, I’ve understood I’m not just the iron and plastic I’m consisting of. But I’m that one playing inside of me. I was not broken completely, I was still able to receive all stations. I was able to be a mysterious stranger from a radio spectacle; or the news announcer, telling about some next war in some next part of the Earth; or the happy advertiser… For a very long time, I was thinking that I AM the stuff I’m transmitting.

But once, the hard rock came in me, and my chips were almost burned out! I’ve tried to catch another channel, but whatever I’ve came to, was the bloody crime. I’ve switched again, but they were speaking of… Not good. I was searching in sources looking for myself. Until I understood these sources could not be me… and I’m not that thing which acts inside of me.

The only thing I’ve decided to leave inside of me, was music.

But I wasn’t able to stop it… I was just able to switch the stations and become either news, either tales, either ads… I was able to be EVERYTHING except MY OWN!!!

Feeling weak, I began to choose the stations truly fast and coming them very out loud. I was hoping to heat my chips, and transistors, and wires — for rebooting myself. I was hoping to fuse off! But the noise coming from stations, wasn’t a big helper, and my question, WHO AM I? — it didn’t disappear. Once, I’ve thought this question could be the same «programme» as the others… and I could switch from it to some other.

But this obtrusive question made the background on each channel. It could be less heard, if I was trying to make the channel’s volume up. However, this effect could work only if there’s a working speaker; if it’s not, the background WHO AM I question is being heard on top. Boosting up the volume could not help, if I was silent.

I’ve thought, if I’m not that thing acting inside of me, then what is it? I was not able to understand WHO AM I, because I didn’t see myself behind the noise. BUT, however, I was still able to try to understand, WHAT’S THAT NOISE about?!Different stations were transmitting different programmes. And I was receiving them. That’s why I’m a «Receiver». I could just receive the pre-programmed stations and switch between of them…

And well, I could receive a «WHO AM I» question with no answer.

Then I’ve came up to the solution. I’m not just a receiver, because just a receiver could not give such a question to itself. Such behavior is not appropriate for just receivers. That’s why my speaker produced so much noise: it was actually not broken. It was giving the answer to my question.

My next dream was about getting up in the morning, and seeing there are no more radio stations on Earth. There was no more content inside of me.

Then, it was me.

***

Once, getting up in the morning, I wrote this story about the radio receiver. Who am I? Well, once upon in the ages I was studying my passport, thinking I am a person named Maxim Meister. That was written there, in the most serious sheet of paper of all times. I was also having a serial number… or a personal code.Before I’ve learned to read, I was inspired THAT I AM Maxim Meister; I was told so by my parents, school teachers, and friends. They were telling me truly a lot. Exactly, since that times when I was brought from «the shop» to home, I was hearing lots of different things. People came around of me; they were so happy and making boo-boo. They were trying to screw me up and press down. They were willing to set me up in the way they wanted me to transmit.

Not sure if they were doing this improperly, or I was broken immediately at that time; but growing up, I was hearing the same question inside of me. WHO AM I? Whatever I was receiving or believing, a «school boy», or a «chess player», or a «student», or a «teacher» were giving that question coming inside from me. They all were me; and sooner I’ve started to ignore them as an unmeaningful sound with no sense.

I was thinking, that I am the stuff acting in my head… and even that everyone is that sound acting in everyone’s heads. Later, I’ve came up to the idea that everyone is a radio station, which acts for itself.

There are different stations; for someone, a channel brings just one programme, for others there are hundreds of them. As more stations there are inside of someone, as more person is considered clever. Some people are very concerned about their radio station — so they begin to be heard by the others.

But not truly that way… Everyone hears just its own radio station, which is supressing all others. And if there was unsuccess in supressing, then there will happen a distortion. I’ve thought then, what if I could be the radio station, which distorts itself?..

It has no sense, thought I. And then, suddenly, when understanding this came up and turned off my own radio station, again, I was a receiver.

A receiver surrounded by stations, transmitting music for themselves.

And I’ve started to receive their programmes. So here comes a girlfriend concentrated on her body only, and transmitting the never-ending soap opera named «I want». Here, the old-man with a dreary exclamation, «What was the sense of my life?..» There, a scientist with an ugly show called «I don’t know more than you!»; and on the other side, a religionist heavily advertising his illusions…

I’ve thought then it would be better to listen to my own station, and turned it on again. Now I’m a broken receiver, playing music for my own — but I also know something more.

And one day I had a dream!

That dream was about getting up in the very early morning, and seeing there are no more radio stations on Earth, and no more even a human. Then I turned off my radio station, and in the silence, I finally heard the answer…

— — — — — — — — — — — —

Hey you! Someone from those receiving my wave now. SHUT UP! Shut up at least for a second! Turn off the station inside of you, and in the silence, you will hear the Flute playing. This will be the answer to the question, «WHO AM I?»

You ARE the Reality!

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